Best Media of 2018

My previous post was a recap of my year in more personal terms, but here is the soundtrack (of sorts) to 2018. I would love to read any comments you have if you've also heard/read/seen any of the things I enjoyed this past year.

Music (because it's one of the most effective time capsules, don't you think?):
I spent a fair amount of music-listening time this year wanting to feel comforted and not wanting to have to think about exactly what song might be the perfect fit, so I listened to a lot of older Coldplay, actually. They're not necessarily happy songs, but they're familiar and calming to me.

Most of the new music that I listened to (whether newly released or just new-to-me) ended up having political undertones. I found this medium a clearer commentary of life in modern America than any written word I can think of. I think the written word is still the most powerful to me in general, but I'm distrustful of it lately, partly because the volume is at 11 and I have trouble sifting through fact and fiction, or being okay with letting any of it speak to me for whatever its worth, regardless of the the "truth" or lack there of there within. Anyway, I've been adding to a playlist called Resistance Party that's all songs that - to me - directly address the times. In some cases, these songs actually taught me. The playlist is rap-heavy as I think this genre is what folk used to be in terms of commentary.



One of the most striking songs (to me) is an old one by Nina Simone called Missisippi Goddam that I heard for the first time this year. Definitely not a song of hers you might have heard at a dinner party.

Another one that really struck me is Thy Neighbor by Jackie Hill Perry, which starts out, "The church is held together by the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, this is why I can't be a true christian and say I love Jesus but I can't stand the church," followed later by the funny but also convicting "the Jesus in me sees the Jesus in you." Damn, sister!

Childish Gambino's song  This is America (and it's video) got a lot of buzz this year, and I'm noting it here, not because I listened to it a ton, but because after hearing the buzz, I sat down to watch the video (with Ira on my lap) and like everyone else, was stunned by the sudden point-blank shooting a few seconds into the video. I was very shaken since Ira saw it and it was very hard to explain that it was real but not real - and I guess that's the whole point. Real but not real enough but so real.

Artist of the year: Cardi B (I love her on many levels, and I am still not tired of her song "I Like It"). Not to mention that she in my top 3 best dressed celebrities in 2018 (Zendaya was another, for anyone curious).
Best love song: Denim by Priscilla Renea
Biggest earworm: I Won't Hurt You by The West Coast Pop Experimental Band (Isle of Dogs)
Best discovery: boygenius (thanks Michelle!)

Live shows: I saw Lily Allen live, an artist I've admired for a long time! 

Best soundtrack: the musical (that I haven't seen) The Band's Visit.
Best album: Janelle Monae's Dirty Computer and it's accompanying "Emotion Picture", a music video montage of about 6 of the songs off the album. I think my mouth was a-gape the entire time I watched it. Daring, Sexy, Powerful, Explosively Creative.

Movies and Shows:
(in rough order of how well known I think they are)

• Coco
• Westworld (season 1)
• Isle of Dogs
• Blackkklansman. The quality of the movie itself was all over the place, but the premise of the is riveting and it provided a much needed jolt concerning my outlook on race relations.
• Maniac (Netflix; bizarre, funny Jonah Hill and Emma Stone show about a drug trial)
• Kim's Convenience (Netflix; absolutely hilarious Canadian sitcom with special interest for Asian-Americans and dads-and-daughters)
• Legion (the most un-Marvel Marvel show you'll see, in the best way. Quality varies by season, in my opinion).
• Method (Netflix; a Russian detective show that is very intense but fascinating. Intriguing mental illness component)
• Babylon Berlin (Netflix; amazing German period drama, for fans of Peaky Blinders)
• Rise of the Phoenixes (Netflix; 70+ hour-long episodes of Chinese historical drama; beautiful, clever, intricate, tragic, and worth overlooking the cheesy bits)

Books:
Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses. I felt so lost in this book at first, but the writing style is unlike anything I've ever read, and it is awe inspiring. I was also encouraged by this book that there isn't "one right way" in order for writing to be truly great.

Similarly, I read many sections of Why We Write (edited by Meridith Maran) which inspire me to write whenever I pick it up and helps me ward off impostor syndrome as I identify with all sorts of feelings and thoughts shared by other writers in that book.

I read 11 1/2 books of the Bible, Judges being my favorite and John being my least favorite. I hope to elaborate another time.

Pearl S. Buck's autobiography, My Several Worlds. I find so much comfort and wisdom in her thoughts and experiences as a white woman raised in China and spending adulthood in the United States. I appreciate how cantankerous she was in some ways; it seems only natural for a life both wonderful and tumultuous and gives validation to my own sort of stormy inner self.

The least well-written book I read was The Painted Kiss by Elizabeth Hickey. It's historical fiction based on the relationship between the famous painter Gustav Klimt and his muse, Emilie. It was enjoyable and I learned a lot about Austrian history, but I was not overly impressed with its quality in terms of "literature."

We listened to the novel Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynee Jones as an audiobook and it was thoroughly enjoyed by our whole family. It will be very familiar to anyone who has seen the movie adaptation, but it's different enough to warrant a read. It also quotes a John Donne poem, and nothing endears me more than when a book (or sermon, tbh) I'm enjoying quotes something that I love and am familiar with.

Podcasts:
I was encouraged by some episodes of Exploring My Strange Bible (the ones on Why Church Matters, thanks to my friend Luke!) and the Liturgists podcast (particularly "Prophet or Ass" and "Church Unity"). I also read several chapters of The Gospel Comes with a Housekey by Rosaria Butterfield that gave me a few gold nuggets to hang on to (I guess that should go under books, but it fits this section better).

Visual media:
There is so much (so much!) visual content that inspires me throughout the year, and I try and share it periodically in my stories on Instagram. I'm always dumping stuff into my Pinterest vortex too. Jonas and I did stop by the Getty Musuem for the first time in many years to see a fashion history exhibit that was amazing, as well as some of the other visiting exhibits. I also started following hashtags on Instagram (I'm not sure if that feature was new to 2018 or not) and it's a great way to discover all sorts of new things. I took part in the #fjnine challenge many times, pulling photos from my feed to match the weekly color scheme. Here are the collages I made, all with my own photos.

I can't wait to discover new things and uncover old things in 2019.

2018 Review & 2019 Goals

This was a difficult and unsettling year inside my head. I don't know how to articulate it, but I know that there are some things holding me back from being free and whole, as if there are some internal error messages that just don't x out when I hit "remind me later" anymore. My biggest goal for 2019 is to work through that to the best of my ability. 

It's harder to write my way through whatever is plaguing me. I spend a lot of time making more drafts than I used to, and it ends up making less sense. 2018 was characterized by losing my sense of security in several ways, with the additional wounds of realizing that I was finding security in those things subconsciously. 
My acceptance of some fundamental characteristics of church that are not Biblical. 
My belief that racial and social reconciliation was just a matter of me caring. 
My assumption that all the members of my family would live in close proximity forever.
I was less certain that finishing 10 years of school would lead to a dream job, but it has still been discouraging and disorienting to realize I am not qualified to do much of anything that I had envisioned. 

I'm not going into 2019 feeling hopeful, I'm going in feeling lost. I think that's okay to be and feel, but I don't particularly care for it.  Never the less, there were some wonderful things that happened this year. I'll start with the highs, then review the lows, then assess last year's goals and set some new ones. Interspersed with photos from the year. 

My most "liked" pictures on Instagram this year, L to R, Row 1: candid(ish) from Genna's wedding, Sonny and Cher halloween costumes, candy sushi. Row 2: Chinese New Year table setting, Scandanavian Ribbon Cake at my vintage Christmas party, thrifted Gucci scarf. Row 3: 2018 tree, patterned family, Ishmael at Easter. 

Highs

Three wonderful weddings - I got to be in my dear friend Genna Cragoe (Andersen)'s wedding which featured the best dancing of any wedding I have ever been to and a taco truck which is probably the best wedding food I've had. It was proceeded by a bacholerette party at the family's beach house in Malibu which is officially one of my favorite spots on earth now and fills me with even more undying love for the magic of California. // We were touched to be invited to our brother-in-law's brother's wedding in Santa Cruz with the incredibly generous and friendly Sears' family. Alex and Emily Sear's wedding was the first open-bar wedding I'd been to and there were customized gift bags for our kids and it was at a golf course that happened to feature feral kittens, so it was really one for the books. // My dear cousin Mark married a fantastic woman, Nicole, and with the added bonus of seeing her FBI coworkers go crazy on the dance floor, I can't remember a wedding where I was so filled with contentment that two people found each other. Also I'm just really thrilled to have Nicole as a cousin now.

The summer time in general was wonderful. I'd made note of that right after the summer ended, but many of the details are hibernating now. I can't complain that the memory is bathed in a contented glow. The most bittersweet aspect of it was several days spent helping my sister Annelise and her husband pack up their home in Whittier, CA for their cross-country movie to Andrew's grad school program at Duke in Durham, North Carolina. It was quality time talking, going to the Korean spa, and eating all the best "last meals", but I miss their presence in California every day. At the end of the summer, the beginning of the school year marked the first time that both my boys were in school. 

I went to The Cellar Bar in Fullerton multiple times, where I sipped the best cocktails of my life to date, and made many good memories with my family.

My friend Lena (@vintagechicdk) was a vendor at the Pickwick Vintage Show and I got to help her! I was in clothes heaven and I loved meeting some amazing vintage dealers and gawking at the celebrities, designers, and show biz people that came to shop.

Some favorite outfits from 2018

My friend Michelle and I went on a lovely mini-vacation to Santa Monica to see the chef Yotam Ottolenghi speak. We were calling it our version of the screaming girls at Beatles' concerts. It was a very funny and cult-like experience to be in an auditorium of (mostly) women all holding the same book on their laps with reverence. 

In the fall, I started tutoring Chinese which has been surprisingly lovely as a small source of income and a chance to engage with something I love in a non-stressful setting (I've always been convinced that I don't like teaching, but now I'm less sure).

Thanksgiving was spent in San Diego, smashed into my brothers' beach-front apartment, making the best foods we could think of (the less bound to tradition I am, the more I enjoy holidays). I made a great effort to impose as little stress on myself as possible leading up to Christmas, beside the all-vintage Christmas party I threw on December 1st, something I've been plotting for several years! It was so much work (vintage everything - recipes, decor, clothing, etc.) but I also felt really satisfied seeing something through that had been stuck in my brain for a long time. I felt completely burnt out by December 24th, but blessedly, the following week was wonderfully relaxed and spent reading aloud to family members who were visiting and enjoying a small celebration of my graduation (the degree was conferred in mid-2018, even though I finished the program in 2017).

The Section Between Highs and Lows

In January 2018, I joined my local Interfaith group and attended related meetings and events throughout the year. I appreciated it for an opportunity to be a part of many gatherings and relationships that I'd never otherwise have an introduction to. It was also a reminder that community engagement and "working toward good" is almost always a harder, slower, slog than I imagine it will be. 

I'm always developing new hobbies and trying new things in categories I've always been interested in. I got into some elaborate floral arranging and I put extra time into styling photos as a form of artistic expression. I guess I'm just mentioning it because it's where I pushed myself and saw the most success in terms of creativity this year. 

Some of my floral arrangements in 2018

What I wrote about in 2018: 2017 recap, Amal Clooney, Our Lady of Sorrows (prose), a dark flora and fauna wedding concept, 10 years of life in America, Cultural Appropriate from the perspective of someone with multiple (or zero) cultures, my latest stage of parenthood, a heatwave (prose), Hope, Bundt cakes, relearning Chinese, starting to unpack deep sorrow, the color yellow, Emilie Flöge and Wiener Werkstätte movement in Austria, and my disillusionment with political correctness. 

This may seem like a non-sequitur but of all the noise in the news and even all the beautiful visual noise on Instagram, this photo stuck out to me,  stuck with me, and captured my sense of the zeitgeist (and many others, according to the internet). It's a High and a Low. It's power and grace and bravery, it's also struggle and pain and despair. It's beauty in turmoil, and if that's not what mental stability and a life of walking in tension look like, I don't know what is. My favorite part about the photo (beside all the powerful imagery that I won't go into detail about here) were the words of the man in the photo when being interviewed later, 

"I don't go to protests to get pictures of me taken, but this has encouraged me to continue demonstrating," he said. "The flag I was carrying is the same one I always hold in all the other protests I've attended. My friends make fun of me, saying it is easier to throw rocks without holding a flag in the other hand, but I got used to it. If I get killed, I want to be wrapped in the same flag. We are demanding our right of return, and protesting for our dignity and the dignity of our future generation."

Lows

I'm just going to leave Trump and most of America completely out of this, that's basically a given. Internationally: Trump backing out of the Iran Nuclear Deal is something I was enraged and despondent over. He also began ending the US' involvement in Syria, and beside one caller on NPR, I might be the only person who thinks that was a good idea. President Xi of China's decision to extend his term through the end of his life was also distressing. 

The Borderline Bar shooting and the Woolsey fires (I'm confused about all the fire names, but those affecting Ventura, Thousand Oaks, and Malibu in late 2018) were merely more headlines to most people, just like most shootings and fires are merely unfortunately headlines to me. But these ones affected people I know and love, and the sense of fear and loss and pain is great. 

Somehow, the loss of Anthony Bourdain just kept hurting. I didn't know him, but he managed to be just the kind of light we all needed, and it was especially stinging to lose him when we needed his voice more than ever. I've learned and continue to learn so much from him. I grieve losing him, but I also grieve for his loss.  

Goals

Every year when I put together these looking back/looking forward posts, I review the previous year's post. In doing that recently, it helped me to notice that while I don't accomplish most of the big things I set out to do in a given year, when I look at my list of goals from 2-3 years ago, most of those things are accomplished now. Everything takes longer than I hope (always), but it does happen. And setting goals is important so that I know what I'm working toward and so that I can look back and be encouraged! The things that seem daunting today will be in the past 3 years from now.

2018 goal recap:

• Read books. Made a good start on this!! Books that I read on the sister-post to this one, all about my favorite media of 2018. 
• More communal cooking. I didn't cook in other people's homes as much as I'd envisioned, but I did start giving cooking lessons (sort of) in tandem with Chinese tutoring and I began sharing lots of kitchen escapades via Instagram, so I did a lot of communal cooking, just not in the way I'd imagined. 
• Cook from cookbooks. Room to grow, but I did manage a few recipes from books. 
• Dual Immersion. This simply didn't work out, despite my best efforts. My revised plan is to let the boys watch more TV, but only in Spanish, and hopefully do some intensive language courses in Mexico with them in the future. 
• See a chiropractor. Also didn't happen, but the idea is more and more doable to me, and I'm going to rest, knowing this will be crossed out within the next few years (not only seeing a chiropractor, but hopefully the issues that I'm interested in seeing a chiropractor for). 
• Roller derby! Too big of a time commitment after looking into it. However, I did get some nice rollerblades for my birthday and I hope that using them to exercise (they're so much harder on the sidewalk than in a rink!!!) can be a goal I grow into over time. I'm also determined to find a way to get the local rink to blast my custom-made rink playlist one of these days. ;) 
• Mexico City??? Didn't happen, and that's okay. But there is a New York City trip planned for May 2019! 

Some of my favorite projects and photos from 2018. 

2019 goals. This list is full of huge things, with a lot of caveats. See point 1, haha: 

• See a therapist. I'm exhausted and full of trepidation just thinking of everything behind and in front of that resolution, but I just need to take the first step. 
• Language learning. Spanish. Arabic. Farsi. Chinese. At least make a plan, even a tiny bit of practice or movement toward speaking Chinese better and/or learning a new language. 
• Think about home ownership. I go back and forth between excited and terrified. It feels like too much pressure to make the resolution "own a home", but as with the others, the goal is just to make a concrete step or two in that direction. 
• Paint. Start a painting, or maybe take a class (probably not, but maybe). 
• Get a job.  Maybe not a dream job, but a stepping-stone job. Something to at least start me in the right direction.  
• Write out a business plan for my dream job. 
• Find inspiration in hardcover imagery. I have so many amazing art books, I want to spend time looking at them instead of scrolling a screen, some of the time. 

That's it for the recap on my personal year. Jump to part 2 for recommendations based on my favorite books, shows/movies, podcasts, music of 2018. 

Here's to a rad 2019. 

2017 In Review & 2018 Goals

What a tumultuous time. I have a partially written post trying to dissect my thoughts on 10 years in the US that was marked in 2017, but suffice to say it's a bewildering era to call America home and I feel the general sense of national uncertainty bleeding into my personal life. It's not all negative, but it's definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone which can be lonely and scary, even as it's exciting and rewarding. It's a time of transition on many levels.

Before I get into my personal year, I realized that my peers now send out Christmas cards and newsletters and I'm falling down on the job here in terms of updates about family life. I'll give the people what they want! Jonas has now been working at DenMat in Lompoc (making artificial teeth) for a year. He enjoys the work and is heavily involved in trading Ramen packets between his Korean, Vietnamese and Filipino coworkers. The potluck ladies of South East Asia gave his fried rice the stern nod of approval, so he's working on making a new life goal. He continues to draw at home but is considering finishing his degree in something related to wildlife conservation. A highlight of this year for him was seeing the Black Angels play in San Diego, and he has been fostering a love for legos and transformers with our boys. Ishmael turned 5 in the fall and has been going to Transitional Kindergarten at Joe Nightingale. He loves school and eagerly practices letters and numbers. He can read simple words. He is especially good at puzzles and is learning to ride a bike! Ira turned 3 in the summer and will probably start preschool in the fall. He adores his brother and is all about copying him, but also has a distinctly funny and quirky personality. He loves to sing and dance and generally entertain everyone. Thanks in part to his brother, Ira is doing a great job counting.

(sorry the resolution isn't great, I screengrabbed off Instagram where I collected these photos under #we_bo2017 if you're THAT into my life, lolz) Highlights in pictures: Top row - floral projects (all foraged!), Ishmael's first time correctly spelling his name plus an adorable drawing of me pregnant with him; Middle row - various outfits for various occasions, an island in Thailand; Bottom row- jungle-y AirBnB we loved in Thailand, lunch with some interfaith ladies, beautiful green hills after a very wet spring of 2017. 

My biggest goal for 2017 was to finish college, and I did!!! Sort of...
I found out in August that I had two outstanding GE courses that weren't covered by transfer credits or major credits. I finished all my classes in November, but have two extra tests that I'm studying for in hopes of testing out of those missing courses. As relieved and excited as I am to have worked so hard to finish school, that little bump in the road of took the wind out of my sails in terms of finishing school this year and made it made my timeline such that there is no clear time at which to celebrate having finished. I am sad about that, but also proud of myself for doing my best and marking a huge personal achievement. The highlights of my schooling this year were an Arabic literature class (my favorite class of the past 4+ years), beginning to learn Arabic, and my research project on the intersection of the Druze sect and modern Islam.

I am scared and lost and confused about what comes now - I am considering grad school since we're still about 3 years out from having both sons in full-day school and all of the types of jobs I'm interested in require a masters or several years of experience. The prospect of job hunting in general is very overwhelming and I hope that in 2018 I can pursue some leads and develop a more concrete picture of what my options might be and how to work those into our life. Everyone asks me what job I want, and in a nutshell: I want to continue fostering interfaith community in our city, I want to continue writing and developing/honing skill and discipline in that area, I am interested in continuing language studies in Arabic and Farsi, and I would love to make short-term trips for work, so I am dreaming of teaching writing/art workshops abroad in a summer-school scenario so that I can combine travel/art/writing/language immersion.

Other notable things of 2017: Jonas and I traveled around Thailand in February which was our first trip abroad together! We were dazzled by the beautiful limestone islands in the Andaman Sea. // We had many wonderful dinners with various friends, for which my life is richer (special mention to our neighborhood friends the Jones' for hosting us 7 times!!!). I'm so thankful to have dinner parties be a regular part of our life and we look forward to continuing this trend... forever! Also, my dear friend Michelle had the most perfect twin boys and I never tire of holding them and being in awe. // I've made many new friends in our city-community this year as I pursue getting to know the local Muslim community and get involved in our inter-faith community group. This process has been much slower than I expected (and made me ask difficult questions about my motives and goals, which I don't have air-tight answers for), but I am learning a great deal about my own faith and am looking forward to facilitating more casual cooking lessons and food sharing among our community members. // In random fun stuff, I finally made it to the Rose Bowl flea market (which did not disappoint), and saw Regina Spektor and Elbow in concert (separately), as well as Hamilton! The hype is warranted, I actually choked up during a stage production.

Best media of 2017: I read so much, but almost exclusively for school. My favorite book from the Arabic Lit class was Seasons of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih. // The best movies I watched (few of which actually came out in 2017) were A Man Called Ove, Turbo Kid, The Best Offer, Whisky Tango Foxtrot, Silence (favorite movie in a long, long time), Ladybird (surprised it wasn't darker), and I Am Not Your Negro (not an exaggeration to say it has been contributing to changing my day-to-day life). // I was underwhelmed by new music in general, though I did enjoy the new Killers album (Wonderful Wonderful) and I was interested by Nitty Scott and Jhene Aiko.

Highlights in pictures: Top row - took the boys to the Monterrey Aquarium in December, Friendsgiving, meeting the Gee twins in October; Middle row -  Jonas and I participated in a chalk festival, Welch kids weekend in San Diego (missing Julia), one of my favorite foraged bouquets of the year; Bottom row - visiting with our friend Nabila, finally finished my painting!, visited Palm Springs and the Salton Sea with Annelise and Genna in the summer. 

We accomplished some momentous things this year, and part of me is struggling as I try to find new goals to replace the old ones. Finishing school has been a 10 year journey for me, so I'm definitely feeling a bit of a chasm that there's no easy way to fill in (with the absence of a perfect job landing in my lap). I don't want to avoid having goals at all just because I can't see their shape right now or I'm afraid of not meeting them, so here are my more concrete, if not super momentous, hopes and targets for 2018:

• Read books. Looking forward to carving out consistent to time to become an avid reader again.
• More communal cooking. I'm really pumped to get more informal cooking lessons from various people in our community, both in their homes and ours. I believe in this model for building relationships so much, and I've seen it start to work and it's incredibly rewarding and exciting and I can't wait to put more energy into this in 2018. 
• Cook from cookbooks. I have so many beautiful cook books but usually reach for my phone or a magazine instead, so I want to start utilizing my books!
• Dual Immersion. I'm hoping to get Ishmael into a Spanish-English school program for Kindergarten (and on through the rest of elementary) which is out of our district, but something that I think is really important for several reasons. I hope he'll be as into it as I am. I hope that he can thrive with the added challenge after the initial switch, which I'm anticipating could be difficult. 
• See a chiropractor. Not glamorous, but I have some chronic neck and shoulder pain which I finally realized might be fixable. I'm putting this on the list because setting up appointments and handling insurance etc. etc. is a hurdle for me. 
• Roller derby! I am considering joining a team partly because I love to roller skate, but also because it's the one form of exercise I might look forward to and I think it will help me be more involved in our city. And let's be honest, I need an outlet for my aggression (jkjkjk). 
• Mexico City??? I don't know how practical it is, but I always want to be traveling more and whether or not this makes actual sense, Mexico seems like a good vacation in which to ease into traveling abroad with kids. 

2016 In Review & 2017 Goals

What a difference a year makes. I was looking at my year wrap-up post from 2015/2016 and my year-in-a-word was "content". This year, on the other hand was tense. Not in personal terms, but I felt so wrapped up in the pains of the world. I know that's a huge burden to bare, but its one that I dwell on often, none the less.  This is the first New Years that I don't feel as if the future will probably be better than the past, but I don't see that as an ultimately hopeless situation.

I suspect that life in the US in 2017 may be a bit more tumultuous than it has been (and it has been) and it doesn't seem as if international woes are dying down either. I realized that assuming that the future will be brighter goes against my fundamental view of humanity, which is that we're circling the drain. In Biblical terms, humans don't age well in any sense, but also in Biblical terms, we're not left to our own devices forever. So that's my take on 2017 and beyond - it will probably get worse before it gets better. The war in Syria, the truck attack/massacre in Nice, France, and the Tennessee school bus crash stood out to me as irreconcilably sad in 2016, though the entire year felt like a string of tragedies and injustices. 

Destruction is certain, but there is every reason to hope and push toward peace and reconciliation in the mean time. If that makes zero sense, I... realize that, too. Sometimes it strikes me as a great act of courage that anyone in this life can resist substance abuse in light of tidal waves of pain and sorrow. I'm predicting that my word of the year for 2017 is going to be my "...interesting", which is a PC way of saying, "holy poo, what is happening?!"

In the midst of all this, it's humbling to have had a pretty fantastic year on a personal level. 

Some highlights from 2016 for our family: Ishmael started preschool, which has been great for everyone, and has aided my general sense of having hit my stride in parenting (as much as that is possible, which is questionable). I turned 25 on the 25th of August and had an amazing birthday party at which my best pals presented me with plane tickets to Thailand! We took several mini vacations within California this year, but our favorite was Santa Cruz. Last but not least, Jonas wrapped up nearly a decade at In N Out and started a new job at a dental lab called Denmat. Moving on up! 

{some of my favorites from my Instagram in the past year}

I've not kept very good track of my favorite entertainment this year, but I also consumed less than usual. I occasionally share favorites on my friend's blog, The Conversation Collective. A few things I enjoyed that I didn't mention on there are the TV show The Killing (Netflix), and the book (nonfiction) Revolutionary Iran. I also made a playlist of the songs that will most remind me of 2016. 





I didn't do that well on my 2016 goals, but I'm okay with that:

• Begin collecting art
• Begin investing money beyond my 401K/IRA
• Submit writing to a publication I haven't submitted to before
• Read the Koran, at least in part, as well as read the Bible 
• Become involved in my local Muslim community  (slow, slow progress on this front, am definitely rolling this one over into 2017)
• Visit the CRM plant in San Diego
• Jonas apply to Otis
• Figure out when/how to get Ishmael started in school
• Have $10k in the bank by Jan 2017

I'm not feeling the resolutions thing as much as usual, but my main goal for 2017:

• Finish college!!! After 9 years of studying on and off, I'm on track to graduate November of 2017 and I CAN'T WAIT!

We have some other fun things coming up as well - Jonas and I will be going to Thailand in February, my first time out of the country in 9 years! In other momentous news, our 5th wedding anniversary is coming up in less than 2 weeks. 

I may or may not go right on to get my masters when I graduate later this year. I'm also looking forward to cooking dinner with new and old friends throughout the year. And not to jinx myself, but I think this is finally the year I will finish the painting I started in 2012 - I'm so close to done! 

{not surprisingly, these 9 photos on the right were my most "popular" on Instagram ;)}

Another small and highly unlikely to be fulfilled resolution is to watch more good movies. I mostly watch shows, but I miss seeing good movies within the same year that they come out. Like I said, this is a completely impractical goal to work toward given my school and life schedule and other much more important priorities, but none the less, I desire it! 

What's been on your mind as we ease into 2017? 

2015 In Review & 2016 Goals

If I had to choose one word that summed up how I felt about 2015, it would be "content", which is a pretty huge deal for me. We've been living with my parents for well over a year now, and it can be hard at times, but it's also an enormous blessing in our lives. Ultimately, I've learned to be so grateful for what I'm given each and every day, and not worry about not knowing what may happen down the road. I admitted to being poor, and then did a relatively good job at not letting money (or lack there of) control me. 

Despite being somewhat in limbo, we made good progress in figuring out what me might want to do and where we might want to go and then making some concrete steps in those directions. I also sense that I'm starting to solidify as an adult. I want to write more about this later, but there are aspects about that process that I like, and then some that I don't like. I've become more open, and in some cases more staunch, about both my spiritual and political beliefs, and I've even dared to let those two become entwined, and often in public. I'm also less embarrassed about that being unpopular. 

Even though I'm bidding 2016 goodbye feeling good, there were some really terrible and/or stressful times in 2016 too. It was a very bloody year the world over, and that weighs on me, even as it has driven me to make important actionable changes in my life. It was also a devastating year for several of my closest friends, and I struggle with how to adequately share such great burdens. 

In my personal life, I realized that I was almost certainly dealing with postpartum depression. I wasn't feeling sad so much as indifferent or angry (which is less of a textbook manifestation, and therefore not one I was on the lookout for) and only once I was out of the woods in that regard (at least a year after giving birth to Ira) did I notice what a toll it had taken on me and on my marriage. Especially taking that into account, I feel content with the size of my family as it is, and surprised at how I only feel more certain of that as time goes on. {image}

Hand in hand with having PPD behind me, I've felt that I've come alive again, enjoying my work selling vintage items and books (@retroriot/@retroriotreads) immensely and all the knowledge I've gained through that experience. It's also allowed me to be a part of a new-to-me community that I've greatly appreciated. With the shops and other things as well, I feel like I'm succeeding at something again, which makes me less anxious to set goals for myself, which in the past have sometimes been a way for me to convince myself that I wasn't flailing around in life, doing nothing and going nowhere. 

Still, I remain a believer in lists and the idea that goals are more likely to be met if you set them. 
Here is a look at my goals from last year and some ideas for things I would like to start on in 2016. 

2015 goal assessment:

• Earn the Pampered Chef incentive trip to the Bahamas. (nopeee, and I have not missed that job since quitting in February, even though I'm glad I gave it a try) 
• Complete at least 3 more classes at APUS. 
• Make progress with Jonas's school/our future situation. 
• Build up a nest egg - have more in the bank at this time next year than we do now.  (I think we do have a little bit more, despite two cars dying and an unplanned international trip) 
• Not let other's opinions be my standard - not that I don't care about other people's opinion at all, but not let my goals be molded to their goals for me. 
• Focus on being a good listener. (needs more work) 
• Yoga 1x/week. (I did a little bit, but far from once a week)
• Visit a museum I've never been to before.
• Have friends over for dinner once a month. (epic, epic fail) 
• Cook something I've never cooked before from a hard-copy cookbook, once a month. (I didn't hit once a month, but I did do one or two recipes from a book)

2016 goals:

• Begin collecting art
• Begin investing money beyond my 401K/IRA
• Submit writing to a publication I haven't submitted to before
• Read the Koran, at least in part, as well as read the Bible 
• Become involved in my local Muslim community 
• Visit the CRM plant in San Diego
• Jonas apply to Otis
• Figure out when/how to get Ishmael started in school
• Have $10k in the bank by Jan 2017

And in very brief, non-exclusive form...

Best of 2015:

• Tasted: Chai Lemonade, Mian Pian, Summer Spaghetti Salad, Goshi Sushi (SLO), Imperial bar (Goleta), Industrial Easts (Buelton), 85C Bakery (LA area) 
• Watched: Peaky Blinders, Big Hero 6
• Read: The New Bohemians (Justina Blakeny), Fire in the Blood (Irene Nemrikovsky), and many, many fantastic articles which I made an effort to make time for this year
• Heard [will remind me of 2015]: TV on the Radio's album "Seeds", Japanese House, Lianne Le Havas' album "Blood", Melody Gardot 
• Browsed: Messy Nessy Chic, Hither & Thither, Vox
• Experienced: Road trip to Oregon to visit Jonas' brother and his family, got to meet some dear friends from online high school in person for the first time, was honored to be in two weddings - my sister Annelise's and my childhood friend Danielle's, spent Christmas in CO while Jonas went to Japan to be in his long-time friend Chris' wedding 

Happy new year, friends! If I sent out holiday cards, this would probably be the family picture you'd get. 

Sometimes my impulse is to wish people a "great" or "wonderful" year, and I do wish that, but more than that, I wish for each of you that when the disappointment and hurt comes, that it will shape you to be stronger, wiser, and more aware of how precious you are to our great God and to those who love you.

November 2015

I seem to have a very selective long-term memory (and I don't feel that I'm in control of what I remember), which makes me anal about trying to record things - pictures, moments, funny sentences, feelings, etc. Still, I have not found myself very motivated to do these monthly reviews. I've already modified them to be less rigid, but I hope I can modify them again to make them both interesting to write and properly archival. I've been thinking about my annual year-end post too, which I am looking forward to because I'm sure I'll be reminded of some things I'd already forgotten, but as I was thinking of my dedication to goals over the past few years and my lack-there-of this year, I realized that the more content and fulfilled I feel with where I am right now, the less pressure I put on myself to be doing more or better in my life, and that's a good thing!

Miraculously, I finished a hard-copy book! I've been making a point of reading more articles, but a book is a whole other level of commitment. The book was Katherine Boo's "Behind the Beautiful Forevers", about a community of slum dwellers in India. I wish that the afterward had been the forward, because I was very confused by what was happening in the book for almost the entire time I read it. Never the less, it was an interesting, in depth (not pandering) look at extreme poverty. It was startling to read how inconsequential life and death seemed when surroundings were so brutal, but I did appreciate the humanity (both the good and the bad) Boo showed through her reporting (it's non-fiction) on a group of people who are usually just pitied and/or ignored.

I didn't watch or eat anything mind-blowing in November, but there was SO much good music (in the moments between listening to Adele)! New music from Grimes, LP, the Japanese House, Sia and maybe-new-maybe-not stuff from Salt Cathedral, Highasakite, Kurt Vile, Gillian Welch, Vaults, KING, Dawn Golden, Lapsley, Labrinth and Alabama Shakes. Listen to all my favorite picks here.



I finally felt that my bookshop (@retroriotreads) was back in full force in November, after having split it off from my main vintage shop (@retroriot) and having to rebuild my customer base. The shops keep me moderately busy, make a bit of income, and provide me with experience and a sense of "doing something" that I greatly enjoy and need.

I've also been taking my writing a little more seriously and have been pitching essays here and there to different publications and websites. I enjoy it - especially the community of writers that are my support group - but I'm also trying to gain confidence about putting myself out there as any sort of "professional". I'm very nervous about being rejected if I really put a lot of effort in to it. I worry that what I have to say is redundant, and probably not as well worded as people who write for a living.

Since I am taking the boys to Colorado for Christmas with my family, we decided to spend Thanksgiving exclusively with Jonas' side of the family. We enjoyed it a lot, and I cooked the main meat course as well as a soup and a side. I really enjoyed getting to play a larger role in planning and helping, but it wasn't so much responsibility that I was unable to enjoy the holiday (even though I did have a stress dream about it the night before!). We also got to spend a fun meal outside with our church family.


The day after Thanksgiving, I went down to LA with my family and we hit up a bunch of sites (the Griffith Observatory, the Palm Thai restaurant, the MOCA) and we played this horrible game where you have to eat jellybeans with yucky flavors. I almost won the cash jackpot, which may have made it worth it, but never again! I spent an extra day driving around Christmas and inventory shopping and had dinner with some old China friends who I haven't seen in almost a decade! It was a very special evening, and I'm THANKFUL to live near a major international hub-city.

In less exciting news, but a point that feels defining recently, is back pain. I've started doing yoga every other day or so (a specific back routine) and I try and limit how often I carry the boys in my arms while standing, but I dread the thought of this being some kind of new normal or the fact that it is too painful for me to try and reverse years of bad posture.

You probably want to hear about the boys, which is a big reason I try and keep consistent "journaling" going. I failed to take down specific notes during the month, but my general impression of them lately is as such: Ishmael's hair is getting long (hopefully finally past the horrible in-between stage), and his head seems very large to me. He is getting pretty emphatic about choosing his own clothes and he can put full and proper sentences together. He loves to sing and jam on his guitars (including imitations of screeching electric guitars) and is generally doing a much better job of sharing and listening than he has been over the past several months. Ira is as cute as ever, but he is incredibly strong-willed and disobedient. His favorite word is "no", which he says with his lips poked out like a fish. He's getting good at drinking out of a lid-less cup, and generally refuses to eat meat. He "reads" out loud to himself and occasionally babbles a "sentence" and waits for you to respond. He loves to push around a doll stroller and.

In November, a few of my favorite things were drinking martinellis, cooking with cranberries, gawking at vintage jewelry at the Griffith Observatory, and belly laughing with my bff over funny Instagram pictures.

{images 1, 2}

October 2015

All of a sudden, it's the Holidays! I love the holidays because it means that I get to see my family together more often. This year, I'm trying to be conscious of my tendency to set myself up for disappointment though, when I expect a day to be perfect (like Christmas day), and then let real life ruin it for me. Kids make mistakes, people let you down, plans fall through - that's the stuff that I'm sure will happen here and there, and I want to let the magical, exciting, surprising moments come on their own, without assuming that they belong to me.

{I've started wearing earrings again after about 3 years, due to grabby kids and irritable skin. I really like this pair.}

Anyway, that's my private pep talk as we move into November. In our family, the holidays kick off on October 26th, my dad's birthday! Then Ishmael turned 3 on the 29th, followed by my sister Annelise's birthday (and visit!) on the 31st, and my brother Jonathan's November 2nd (he turned 20, which means that all my siblings but my youngest sister Julia are in their 20s, which is positively bonkers).

I'm not one to constantly bemoan my children growing up, but sometimes I do look at Ishmael and marvel at how big he is. He's been pretty hilarious lately, and thankfully, oh so thankfully, seems to be a little less contrary recently. He says "what" even when he hears or asks "where" even when he sees, but I know he is taking everything in and learning at a mile a minute. His favorite books are interactive, like The Jolly Postman books, and he's crazy about swords. Auntie Annelise got him one for his birthday and we've been constantly dying at his hand ever since. He says hilarious things which I document on Facebook, when I can. He loves to play baseball in the backyard and find spiders with Daddy.

Ira is such a smiley kid, and he's a goof, too. He sings "row, row, row" (aka "Row Your Boat"), and dances like a mad man, stomping his feet and clapping with his arms stretched all the way out between claps. He loves toes, has a bunch of new teeth, and is starting to say lots of "words", like "NO", "Baba" (Grandpa), "chee??" (cheese), "wa" (water), "up", and "down". He's alternately a major cuddle bug and feisty, generally ignoring all instructions and fake crying when he doesn't get what he wants. When someone (especially Grandma) leaves the house without him, he flattens himself face down on the floor and cries.

I'm growing quite tired of listening to children's music all day, and I do make exceutive decisions to listen to my music sometimes instead. I hate that my Spotify Discover playlist is always mellow hipster stuff because most of it sounds so generic, and I protest that that's not even remotely the majority of what I listen to, but then I look at the songs I play over and over, and they are generally mellow and moody. FINE. I found more than the usual amount of songs I liked this month, but the Japanese House stands out as a new discovery AND my husband likes it too.


Pretty, moody, wintery (it's quite chilly today, as I write this) tea cups. Perfect for sipping from while listening to the Japanese House and my "Chill Out, Ma" playlist, which I made especially for Mamas (well, me), who need to put headphones on for a bit and drift away. 

Also, I'm starting to cook from a cookbook (!) which I picked up at a used bookstore a while back, and we haven't had a dud yet!

You probably already know, because I keep blabbling about it, that I'm watching this Spanish soap opera called Velvet. Other than the horrible soundtrack, I'm absolutely sucked in. I almost stopped watching early on when I was really upset about a main story-plot not going how I wanted it to because all the characters are incapable of honesty, but I'm all cool with it now. It's kind of fun that I've learned a little bit of Spanish in the process too! I always feel strange living in a heavily Hispanic area and not speaking a lick of Spanish. I also watched the Aviator for the first time, because Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett, obviously. I admit I've seen her in some dud films but she was a fantastic Katherine Hepburn. Wow. I just read that she's going to be in a Lucile Ball biopic soon, and I think she'll be very good in that role too. I also watched Iris, and fell even more in love with Iris Apfel like pretty much everyone else. I'm so charmed by her husband and their long-standing relationship and love for one another, even if (especially because?) they do still bicker about what kind of yogurt to buy. One of my favorite take aways from the documentary was when she explained that her husband finally talked her out of getting up at 4 in the morning to go to flea markets because all the things that she wanted would still be there at 11 anyway because no one else had her style! Yeppppp. When I go thrift or estate sale shopping I turn into a lunatic and am snatching things left and right (ready to scratch anyone who tries to take what I have my eye on) and then half the time, the shop or sale owner will give me a discount because everyone else thinks that the stuff I want is trash.

{This is my dream winter coat, but when I ordered it from China a few years ago, it wasn't nearly this nice and it didn't fit. Boo.}

Beside all the birthday celebrations this month, I took Ishmael trick or treating for the first time! IT WAS THE BEST. We didn't grow up celebrating Halloween and so I think I'd only gone trick or treating once in my life before. I was kind of "meh" about Halloween in general. But I dressed my boys up for a little fashion shoot - Ira as Andy Warhol and Ishmael as Beethoven - which was hilarious and very well received on the internet ;), and then Ishmael and I had a blast walking around collecting candy and visiting some friends in nearby neighborhoods too. Being Ishmael's first time too, he was full of wonder over the whole thing, and very quickly became a big fan. It was so fun to see him discovering something new, and I can't wait for next year.

Funny or noteworthy things on the internet this month included this parody of every celebrity interview, ever (I had noticed about the coffee and describing what they're wearing, but the thing as a whole is priceless), this insane doppelganger situation (WUTTT), and an article I didn't read that has a headline that feels pertinent to me ("When Child Care Costs More than Rent, Women Stay at Home"). 

September 2015

I'm working on my Fall 2015 post right now, which I know you've all been waiting for with baited breath. ;) Everyone knows now that I've made a "thing" out of not caring for fall, but this year, I'm not altogether hating it! We had a really warm summer and the weather continues to be nice, though we're starting to get a few rain showers here and there which is like GOLD in California. I've been amassing more and more incredible clothing since I've been selling clothing as a [very, very part-time] job this year, and party season will give me an excuse to show some of my favorites off, I hope. It's nice to be able to drink at parties now that I'm not pregnant or nursing as well.

I'm back in school, through October, currently studying Comparative Foreign Policy. It's one of the more difficult classes I've taken so far, but I'm gaining a lot of good insight from the other students, which I really appreciate. Jonas is in school as well, which can be challenging because he's away from home more often, but we got sucked in to the Netflix show Peaky Blinders and spent 12 hours (not all at once) watching it together. Highly recommended! Also, cooler [fall] weather makes cuddling nice. {see end of the post for details on this picture}

Fall also gives me the perfect excuse to crank out the comfort food dishes, and the best new recipes I've tried are thai butternut squash soup and chicken pot pie with tater tots (both super easy!). Here's a soundtrack for you to cook to, been loving this jam.



We had a small combined birthday party for Ishmael turning 3 and Ira turning 1, since September falls in the middle of their birthdays. In hindsight, I don't think it would be any harder to do their birthdays separately because it's not like we put on anything extravagant for the party and we end up doing the birthday routine at home with them on their actual separate birthdays anyway. Still, it was fun to get our family together and hang out at the Goleta Train Museum where they could run around with their cousins and ride the mini train there. We recommend it if you're in the area and have kids. Not many people know it's there, but it shares property with the venue where my sister got married this Summer (also worth walking around those grounds!) and it's free!

In other sons-of-mine news, Ishmael does the best impersonation of a fish I've ever seen (we have been unable to catch it on video thus far), loves to sing songs (and gets most of the words right!), and seems more and more a little/big boy than a toddler. He repeats plenty of things that through me for a loop, like "knock it off!", but also says adorable things like "shall we" do this or that. I've been challenging myself to put my finger on specific aspects of how "children are a blessing" (especially when I'm at the end of my rope with him) and one thing I love is to see his unbridled enthusiasm for Jesus and learning about the Bible, even though he doesn't have very much understanding of God that I know of. It seems so organic in him, which is both astonishing to me and treasured. He also recognizes the letter "S" and knows that it's associated with the words "stop!" (which he yells out every time we see a stop sign, scaring me half to death) and "snake".

Ira also loves to sing, and has started saying words! His first word was "bird", but he also says "ball, up, down, thank you". Though short lived, he also said "NO, NO, NO" a few times which we ignored (especially since it was out of context) and that seems to have solved the problem. Ira has had a lot of classic child behaviors that Ishmael didn't. Ira also loves to swing his arms while walking, and he can go up and down stairs on his own, though it still makes me nervous. He is a pretty fearless little guy, but thankfully seems to have good balance and recover quickly when he does take a tumble.

Lots of new pictures of the boys just posted to Facebook in the album called "The Sweetest Kill" (my albums are usually titled after whatever song I'm listening to when I'm uploading them, ha).

{September is the biggest month of the year for fashion!} 

September really flew by! Jonas' car just about died, so we made a big leap of faith (as educated as possible) and used a lot of our savings to get a 2005 used van. Which has been a DISASTER. Mega sad face. Going on a month, we're still trying to work everything out with the seller and the continuous maintenance issues, but I'm trying to let it go, let it be a good learning experience, and remember that this will all be in the past eventually.

In happier news, Jonas' best man got engaged and the wedding is in Japan, so Jonas is going to be Chris' best man! I'm super excited for Jonas that he will get to go, but I don't get to go this trip which is bumming me out. I'm sending a big shopping list with him, obvs. Our friends Manny and Katya visited from Arizona and we so very much enjoyed their company. As a TCK, I never really expected any childhood (especially online high school!) friends to end up in my adult life (in fact, I was positive that they wouldn't!), but I couldn't be more thrilled. It still feels like such a surprising and surreal blessing.

I've been slowly but steadily building up my shops on Instagram (@retroriot and @retroriotreads), especially focusing on networking. I really enjoy this work and can see myself doing something in this vein for a long time. I didn't expect that when I started, but I'm stoked to have that [possible] security doing something that is fun and profitable. I also spent a large chunk of the last week (first week of October, I'm late writing this up, as usual) volunteering, consigning, and shopping for kid's stuff at our local semi-annual MooLaLa event. Make sure you catch the next one the first weekend of April 2016 - the inventory is impressive and it's very affordable.

September on the Interwebs:

Two of my favorite people on the internet just got awesomer.

Is it bad, given the message, that I really want this to be an Instagram account?

This camera is kinda awesome, but cynical too. The ultimate hipster accessory.

Growing old with the same person you were young with must be the hardest and loveliest thing of all time. The suggested videos on the side look so sad that I can't even click on them.

Has your Pinterest gotten rotten all of a sudden? Here's why, plus a few ways to combat it. 

August 2015

I turned 24 this month, and Ira turned 1! As much as I love summer, it's almost nice that it's over because being back to school means I don't have to anticipate going back to school and it not being summer any more. I'm a glass-half-full kind of person like that.

I've always thought of myself as a "summer baby", but my birthday is usually the first day of school for people, and I think this is the first year that I realized that my birthday is basically the very beginning of fall and there's nothing left to look forward to. UGH. Oh well. I'm already gearing up for my infamous yearly "fall-hating" post, it's gonna be a good one this year!

Speaking of school, Jonas is in his final (?) semester at Hancock, so it will be interesting to see where we go from here. We are actually looking into becoming "urban missionaries" (of all things!), which is exciting and kind of strange for me, but I'll definitely talk more about that later as it unfolds. Suffice to say that it seems to be a piece of the bridge we're trying to build to get us from where we are now to wherever we end up. {image}

Early in the month, I took what turned out to be a mini-vacay to LA with my brothers to hang out with Annelise and Andrew for a weekend. It was tons of fun. We went thrift shopping, street art browsing, ate tons of good, cheap, food, and went to 626 Night Market, which was kind of insane, but made me happy because it felt like a very "us" thing to do with my siblings. Mid-month, Jonathan went back to San Diego for school, which was sad for me. I really enjoyed hanging out with him when he was home this summer. Distance seems to have strengthened my relationships with my siblings, and I really treasure the time we get to spend together now. I also went to visit my friend Genna in Thousand Oaks and we hit up the Oaks Mall where we had many mini adventures, and she graciously let me drag her around while my two offspring hung from her neck.

For my birthday, my parents made Persian food and bought me some sheets I'd had my eye on. Jonas took me on a date where we watched otters in Moro Bay, hit a few thrift shops, and hat dinner at one of our favorite places (which turned out to be pretty disappointing compared to our first visit, so sad!). There were other little treats sprinkled here and there over a week or two, which is such a nice way to experience a birthday.

We pretty much just stuck a candle in a smoothie (Ira's favorite) for Ira's birthday because we will be doing a small party for him AND Ishmael in September. Ishmael LOVES birthdays and candles, so it's always my favorite to watch him be excited about other people's birthdays. Ira didn't really realize it was his birthday, obviously. He got some stuffed animals from his Grandma Tucker and Tia Gina which he enjoyed snuggling. He also took 2 baby steps in August! (It's early September as I write this, and he's practically galloping now)

Ishmael goes through phases, but recently he's been pretty frustrating to try and parent. He's always sneaking off and doing exactly the most destructive thing he can think of. He only wants to seat from plastic utensils, and complains that his clothes are "tipping" if they're not laying perfectly flat, especially in the carseat. When my mom told him that he needed to obey her about something or other, he said, "interesting....". His new favorite book is the Jolly Pocket Postman.

I started "cooking" poke bowls, which are a big hit with the fam-bam, and I've been jamming to Lianne La Havas' new album, as well as this band called James Davis. I don't get a lot of leisurely listening time in these days (if music is on, it's usually Sesame Street or Veggie Tales - I've completely given in to children's music), but I do occasionally add tracks to my main Spotify playlist if I find something nifty.



A few things I found helpful or interesting this month include the website tofo.me, where you can pin images from instagram (really, it puts my spirit at ease, haha) like these amazing soap grapes from @orient499, this article about introversion being more nuanced than we generally think of it (in fact, there are 4 kinds, and you can take a quiz! I can't remember mine anymore), and a list of common mistakes travelers make in Japan (I didn't know about the sushi, though it makes total sense. Also, China shares the customs of using two hands to accept things, the use of business cards, no feet on the ground, and no chopsticks sticking up - it's like incense.)

July 2015

I wish it was summertime all the time. I never tire of it.

I think I watched some movies, but apparently they weren't amazing enough to stick in my memory. I've been plugging through Mad Men, and started watching The Astronauts Wive's Club too. I kept playing this cover in July, it fascinates me.



We spent the 4th of July with the Cragoe and Studley families (childhood friends) in Thousand Oaks, swimming and watching fireworks and eating zucchini pancakes. We also took a weekend trip to LA to see Actice Child in concert and visit our siblings. The music was incredible, though the crowd was obnoxious. The band Low Roar opened for them and they were spectacular live, but I can barely stand to listen to their recordings - strange. As ever, we had a hilarious time playing games late into the night with our brothers and sisters. Some of my favorite times! {image}

My favorite recipe from July was this pasta salad, and Jonas and I ate at Industrial Eats in Beullton for the first time. We will definitely be going back!

Ishmael has lots of funny phrases that he uses totally seriously, such as, "um yeah, sure", "hey, dude!", "hi you!", and "what YOU doing?" He wants cinnamon sugar on EVERYTHING, including his ham and cheese sandwiches, which are his favorite breakfast. We've been reading a lot together, but his favorite books remain the First Discovery series. He continues having a hard time controlling his emotions, especially when it comes to Ira, but I'm encouraged to hear a lot of people say that's very normal for a 2-year-old. He does encourage Ira into laughing feedback-loops though, which is pretty adorable.

Ira loves to strum on the ukulele, stand up and rock on rocking chairs (oy vey!), brush my teeth, and pretend to talk on the phone. He seemed like a baby at 10 months, and at 12 months now, he seems like a toddler. How does that happen?! He says, "gentle","ball", "hi", and "uh-oh". He climbs on everything and puts everything in his mouth, neither of which Ishmael did, though I know it's age appropriate. He can climb the stairs by himself (often going up by throwing both arms up in the air and slamming them down on the next step) and will take every imaginable opportunity to get his hands in the toilet. He seems to like all the foods that Ishmael doesn't like (raisins, blueberries) and not like the foods that Ishmael loves (avocado, eggs). Both of them eat very little, which stresses me out. Ira's favorite books are the Touch and Feel Baby Animal series, though he thinks all the animals make the same grunting noise (except horses and monkeys, he has those sounds down).

Things that caught my interest this month:

• Ah, adulthood friendships. Still trying to master this, and some of these types made me think hard about how I related to people.

• Detroit is calling my name ever louder. Check out these amazingly edited photos. 

• This case for saddness (or maybe just a good hard look at rarity of happiness). Here's an excerpt: 

"Here in my writing, I am tempted to clarify something. I’m tempted to add, “But I’m a pretty happy person overall.” Why am I tempted to write this? Why do I feel I must be clear, publicly, that I am generally happy? I think this impulse comes from a sense that happiness is success and that to fail to be happy is to fail to be successful. And in our American cultural narrative, this failure is usually your own fault. Maybe you’re not trying hard enough. Maybe you’re pursuing the “wrong” ends. Maybe you’re just lazy. (Or maybe you’re poor because you’re lazy, right?) Maybe you’ve got a chemical imbalance that needs to be fixed. Anything for the goal, which is the finale of the American credo. We could say it together—life, liberty, and, well, you know the rest…"

I also loved the history lesson on the word happiness (linked to "happenstance", suggesting it's rare and fleeting). 

• Classes for dads to learn to braid their daughter's hair. 

Things that made me laugh this month:

• Every time you go to this website, you're redirected to a different useless website. Mesmerizing. 

• 5-star toddler games. Hilarity.