Monday, December 14, 2009


I wonder if there is any correlation between the meanings of reflection as in the mirror image of something and reflection the sense of pondering something. In an no pun intended kind of way, I think mirrors are reflective things. In my mind, they correlate with thought. At any rate, I inactively collect antiqued mirrors and I like this photo (from Julia).

I will now commence to write about my corresponding mental reflections. I was just reading Jonas Peterson's latest blog entry and thinking about what a dreamy story that is to me. Just up and moving to a new country, starting over, doing something extremely well is joy. You know how success seems effortless when you do something you love? Does that always have to be in the future for the rest of us? I want that to happen to me this year... I'm tired of being burnt out on school and work. I'm ready to move and start loving what I do. After this next semester, I will be finished with my GE for college, but between then and now is a murderous stretch of classes (Statistics, Biology, Political Science, Sociology & Psychology). I feel so dejected when I realize that I'm not doing something I love, but at the same time, even as I reflected darkly to my Jonas, when I think of everything I want but don't have, I can't help but remember the good things that I do have. Recently, I was remembering a time in my life when everything felt hopeless. I often remember Emily Dickonson's poem "Hope Is A Thing With Feathers" ; that which gives all of itself so that I may have life and asks nothing in return. I'm not hopeless in my discontent with this or that and that is something to be thankful for. // I have 2 of my 3 remaining finals tomorrow. // I have been daydreaming about becoming popular as a blogger. I'm hoping it's my desire to be relevant as a writer/sharer-of-good-things which I would like to have as a career speaking rather than narcissism. Yet every time I ask myself why it's important that I have more followers or imagine ways to get bloggers I respect to visit my blog, it just seems so ridiculous and I can't come up with any good justifications. I think this blog is a special place for me as I'm slugging through so much "GE of life" - somewhere where I can feed (and be fed) the things that make me excited as an artist and lover of beauty at heart. I guess I want it to matter. I want for my passion not to be in vain. (I have resolved for start linking all the things I reference because it's standard politeness in blogging world. I must say, it's so nice on other people's blogs, but such a pain on your own. And when I'm not a crazed student, maybe I will get to finding truly original things to share - bloggers aren't "supposed" to just repost each others' findings endlessly, sadly). // On a lighter note, my Jonas and I saw an Egyptian cat being walked on a leash today. It was so pretty! Yesterday, I saw the most perfect grey bunny on this earth (I don't know how to elaborate - it was just everything a grey bunny should be) and 2 litters of wriggling little baby rats. I took pictures, so they will be on FB later. // I've been watching Modern Family on Hulu. Some good laughs. // Despite all my dungeon-esque musings, I was very happy today.
"Happy Halloween. Ho-ho-ho!" {link to MM}

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