A Silver Lining

Do you think you have a natural age? What age is it? By "natural age", I mean an age which you will always feel you are, or ought to be. Some people refer to themselves as perpetual 4-year-olds (though that sounds absolutely dreadful to me), but very few woman would refer to themselves as a perpetual 13-year-old. Some men take pride in acting like they're forever in the 10-15 range, which is only even remotely charming in small doses. Still other people, notably Iris Apfel, really seem to come in to their own as older adults (60+). 

For the longest time, my mom was 36 and my dad was 38 in my mind, even as they were both nearing 50. Those just seemed like the right ages for my parents to be (despite that they're 3 years apart in age, haha). People say my mom was born 30 years old - she's always been serious and future-oriented, and she admits that she needs to be reminded to have fun. I think I inherited some of that from her, as I ferociously pined to be older than I was for my entire childhood. I've always wanted to be independent and I'd spent most of my life wanting to be married, both of which happened when I was 20 years old. I didn't exactly want time to slow down once I turned 20, but I finally really enjoyed where I was in life. 

Still, I hope 20 isn't my natural age. I always want to be growing, and I don't want to be going downhill when I pass my "natural age". In fact, I'm not sure having a natural age is real or good. But I do think it's interesting to think about. The way I see it, ideally we'd all achieve balance between being young at heart and making mature life decisions. That makes me excited to grow older, knowing I will [hopefully] grow in wisdom. At the same time, I hope that age doesn't solidify my nature so much that I stop being able to adapt or change my mind about things at some point. I will be delighted if/when I get a head of silver hair, and I'm on my way already with my first silver hair appearing in the last month (#motheroftwo, much?!). 

Maybe all of this is easy to say while I'm still young, but I am determined to embrace growing older, and eventually just plain old. I know there will be more pain, but I choose to believe that the joy will be deeper too.

Do you believe in having a natural age? If so, what do you think yours might be, and why? 

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