Monday, October 22, 2012

Wishes For Baby

There are roughly 6 days tops before I have a tiny son in my arms. Labor (or lack there of) is progressing rather slowly, and I will end up being induced by the 28th if baby doesn't come naturally before that. I've been enjoying the time off from work (especially since I got a bad cold right after I started leave!) and with the help of some determined people in my life, have most baby things ready and our new place is coming along. As I wait, I'm already planning what I'm going to wear when I can go shopping in my closet again! Jonas is planning to take advantage of his upcoming leave and get some piercings that will have some time to heal before he has to switch them out when at work. We've been enjoying excursions to the beach, alternately very hot and then rainy weather, and Jonas has been enjoying cooking for me, which I'm overjoyed about.

As a final ode to pregnancy, I made this little image of my cravings, in chronological order. I think I left out "candy" in general. The funny thing about these is that they're mostly sugar loaded, which is totally unlike me on a regular basis. It seems like the baby has his father's sweet tooth (or should I say, sweet-entire-jaw) already! I did very distinctly crave a McDonald's soft serve ice cream once and KFC mashed potatoes another time. If I wasn't craving ice cream, I was craving a popsicle, but one time in particular I sat bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night and felt a huge urge for a popsicle and fresh flowers. I settled for the popsicle.

Baby should be here by halloween and though I don't usually get very extravagant (or dress up at all, as it my sister's birthday which we celebrated instead growing up), I think we might all dress up as In-N-Out peeps this year. Hardly extravagant, but I'll kind of be a pathetic mom if I don't take the chance to dress up my own personal breathing tiny model! I also want to go apple picking at Avila barn as a family. Yah us! And I'm ridiculously excited to have Christmas in my own home with my own little family.

At the showers people have thrown for me/baby/us so far (minus the guy party with Jonas's co-workers), people have filled out "Wishes For Baby," a sheet of sentences started, like "I hope you ________" and then  you fill in the blank for what you hope for baby. Multiple people hoped that our son would laugh at Jonas's humor and get his hair and my laugh. In general, older ladies had better answers for "I hope you ignore _____". My littlest sister Julia filled out one as "Wishes for the Mommy" and said "I hope you ignore the rats," which cracked me up, despite not making very much sense. She also wished that baby will get to go to Disneyland before age 12 and will be granted a pet pony.

With all the waiting time on my hands, I thought I'd jot down my own wishes for my son, to look back on what was important to me now, knowing a lot will probably change after I've known him for a few years and grown a few years older myself. I answered a few of them twice, and could of course keep going on for about forever.

I hope that you choose good friends.
I hope that you always remain curious.
I hope you aren't afraid to try any kind of food.
I hope you aren't afraid to ask questions. 
I hope you love art, learning, and great books. 
I hope you get to see many places and meet many kinds of people. 
I hope you laugh at how silly your dad is, even when you're a teenager. 
I hope you never forget how great the Father's love for you.
I hope you never forget to vote! 
I hope you ignore most of the things people will tell you that you "need."
I hope you become proud of your work, no matter what it is.
I hope you respect other people's right to be wrong. 
I hope you grow old with a a woman you adore. 

Love, your Mama.

I'm already vaguely aware that he will be much different than I imagine him, most likely. I wish I could draw a picture of what I imagine him to look like now, before that image is wiped away by his actual sweet face. I think I imagine him looking very Persian, with fine features, olive skin, black curls, a high nose and dark eyes, but that doesn't seem totally likely. I wonder if he'll look like his ultrasound picture?

I've not read any parenting books so far and I don't even have "What to Expect the 1st Year" yet, but in the 9 months that I've had to think about it, I have come up with a few values or lessons that I would to attempt to teach our son. I'm sure I'll add to it later as I realize gaping holes and perhaps take off things that turn out not to be as important as I think they are. I've already been talked out of making him eat everything on his plate when we get to that stage and been encouraged to read aloud to him right away, even though he won't be able to understand for a while. I also wouldn't have thought to acclimate him to veggies before fruits. And, much to my surprise, was totally won over by cloth diapers, at least in conjunction with disposables. I feel okay saying that there are plenty of things I haven't made up my mind about or am not aware that I should have a stance on, or don't see the advantage of having a strong stance on at all.

I'm terrified that I can't control what he will learn from other people and places, and I suppose I should be equally terrified at what he'll pick up by watching and imitating me. I'm always startled when I realize how much children drink in and how seriously they take it. This is also a note to babysitters about some house rules! :)

  1. No baby talk; speak in regular voices so that you will use a regular voice when you begin to talk.
  2. Ask if you can accept/eat candy that someone offers you. 
  3. Always tell the truth; it's better to be punished for an initial transgression than hide it and deal with the consequences of deceit and the original mishap. 
  4. Barring exceptions like thunder storms and bad dreams, mama & daddy's bed is mama & daddy's space and not for you to spend the night in. 
  5. No locking doors before a yet-to-be-determined age. 
  6. Scheduled feeding & sleeping; your parents, not you, are in control of the day's schedule. If you refuse to eat during the regular time slot, you don't get snacks or treats in between meals and can wait to eat until the next scheduled meal time. 
  7. Sex is not shameful and you can use the real words for body parts as soon as you are aware of them as well as ask us any questions you have. 
  8. Place your hand on my arm if you need to say something when I'm talking, rather than interrupting. We will acknowledge you or let you know when we will be available to answer your question. You may interrupt in an emergency, and we'll teach you what constitutes an emergency.
  9. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize if you know you made a mistake. Don't apologize for your actions if they weren't wrong, but do be aware of how they make people feel. 
  10. Never be too busy to care for others. On the flip side, it's okay not to be bffs with everyone. Spend your time wisely. 
  11. No screen time before age two [please note, babysitters!] - this includes computers, TVs, smart phones, gaming consoles and movies, etc. Never to be used as a distraction/virtual babysitter, and ideally you will not even hear any of these things in the background, let alone see them. We want you to develop a proper attention span and ability to be curious and entertained by other mediums before the glamour of screens (which are not inherently bad). 
  12. Money must be worked for and managed with care; we will guide you in this until you are making your own money outside of our home. 
  13. Listen and obey the first time you are instructed to do something. As you get older, it is okay to respectfully question something you don't understand. 
  14. Be generous.
  15. Find humor without insulting anyone or using bad language. 
  16. Always be thankful, even for things you receive consistently.  
  17. You must at least try food put in front of you.
  18. It is okay to not know the answer to something and there is no shame in asking for clarification as many times as you need it. 
  19. Our standards of beauty and willingness to accept people should come from Christ's standards, not those of people around you or the media. Offer love to everyone. 
  20. We plan to teach sign language as a pre-verbal communication, teach water immersion/swimming as soon as possible, and we are currently planning that you will go to public/charter schools (but not day cares) and begin teaching multiple languages from birth.  
And with that, sleep peacefully and don't be stressed out that we expect you to be great. ;) 

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