Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oh Baby

I'll be frank - I'm very stoked about a no-boundaries-marriage, but not so much a boundless supply of babies. Considering the advancements in science and technology available to us today, it's almost stunning to me that there aren't any great options. In a sense, I feel like it's fitting that humans have been unable to trick the cycle of life without serious drawbacks - in my mind it's almost a comical twin to the pain-in-childbirth curse. It's incredibly frustrating to me that everyone is convinced about their own knowledge of birth control, yet not everyone (or anyone?) can be right because they all contradict each other. Why is it so hard to admit that based on history, it's entirely possible that we have no idea what we're doing in the realm of birth control? Honestly, stop quoting "evidence" you personally know nothing about. 
I'm envious of our children who may have methods available to them that I've read about (currently in the 10+ year testing trials) but will be much too late for us. But then again, will those methods turn out to be less than optimal as well? I'm not saying I believe that various forms of birth control aren't effective, but just consider what we sacrifice by using them: no birth control/"natural planning" = babies, additional hormones (from plants and horses - who thought this was a good idea?) which by definition can alter what "you" means, not to mention decreased libido in women among other why-the-hell-would-I-ever-agree-to-that symptoms. Barrier methods = um, just doesn't always seem to be timely, shall we say, and why would someone want to settle for less than the full experience? I realize I'm being picky, but this honestly bothers me. 
As I struggle to come to some sort of satisfactory conclusion with my fiance, I have the added element of ethics. From what I've heard, all forms of birth control (excluding barrier methods) alter the lining of the uterus so that on the [granted, minuscule] off chance that an egg were to be fertilized, it would severely decrease the chances of it latching on inside the womb. I believe that human life begins at the moment of conception, so knowingly doing anything to my body that would prohibit a fertilized egg from living is an early abortion in my eyes. I personally know people who've gotten pregnant while using these methods I'm referring to, so I know that taking/using them will not always prevent pregnancy or effectively end the life of a teeny human, but it still boggles my mind that either a) women whom I respect and love either didn't do enough research into something rather weighty in their lives to realize that the potential consequences of their actions or b) know that their choice may affect the life of their child and just choose to ignore that disturbing thought. Am I being unfair? For once, I'm of the old lady school of thought. 
Just to clarify, I have heard that the body naturally doesn't accept all fertilized eggs onto the lining so that a fetus continues to grow, but I see a clear distinction between natural miscarriages (whether the mother is ever even aware) and consciously choosing something that MIGHT endanger the life of a conceived being. A mother may never know that a fertilized egg didn't survive because of the birth control she uses, but I don't think that acquits her of responsibility for a potential she was aware of. I would also like to say that I do not hate women who've had an abortion and I quite quite understand the tragic decision made by many mothers to abort their children because of wretched circumstance in their lives, whether or not I agree with those decisions. I want you reading to know that I'm doing my best to be rational rather than judgmental. These are my opinions, but I will not shy away from the chance to convict someone over something so serious as life and death, especially since my life has been changed by other people who actually verbalized their opinions and thereby essentially guilted me into doing what I knew was right but was too much of a coward to own of my own accord. 
Now what role does God play in this? A little old Catholic lady my fiance and I visited in our was of the opinion that using anything other than "natural planning" (aka counting calender days based on supposed knowledge of how a woman's body works, aka don't have sex when your body wants it most, aka hog wash) was wrong because it was blocking the hand of God. So God wants me to have good sex within marriage and God also wants me to have 24 children? Firstly, we can't support a gaggle of children at the point (probably never, if we had 24) and secondly, is there any obligation to have any number of children considering the earth is now populated and will continue to grow exponentially until hypothetical collapse? Am I just not trusting God to provide for our family? I wish saving sperm for later procreational use and then a snipping was more romantic sounding than it is... Yeah, I just blogged that. 


  1. Gosh I love you sister. This made me think..really hard. And it made me laugh too. I wish I'd read it before we called because now I want to call you all over again and talk about it. Maybe we can tomorrow?

  2. This is great, Karissa. I'm also thinking about contraception nowadays, and you touched on many important points in a very succinct and thoughtful manner.


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